EMDR Therapy: Why We Sabotage Ourselves
Self-Sabotage | Trauma Recovery | EMDR Therapy
Have you ever found yourself getting in your own way—just as things were starting to go well? Maybe you procrastinated, quit too early, or talked yourself out of a good opportunity. This may not be laziness or lack of motivation. It could be self-sabotage, and you’re not alone.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Judy Ho, self-sabotage is often the result of automatic negative thought patterns and deeply ingrained beliefs—many of which are so habitual, they operate below conscious awareness. EMDR Therapy can help you identify and shift these patterns.
What Is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage occurs when your behaviors interfere with your long-term goals. These actions may feel unintentional or irrational, but they are often the result of subconscious protective mechanisms formed through earlier experiences.
6 Common Self-Sabotage Triggers
Dr. Ho outlines six core thinking traps that keep us stuck:
Overgeneralizing – Believing one negative outcome defines all future attempts.
Should Statements – Rigid expectations of yourself or others.
Black-and-White Thinking – All-or-nothing beliefs that leave no room for nuance.
Mind Reading – Assuming others are thinking negatively about you.
Discounting the Positive – Minimizing accomplishments or strengths.
Personalization – Taking on responsibility for things outside of your control.
These automatic negative thoughts—or ANTs—are often subconscious and fast, which is why they can be so hard to catch.
4 Core Elements That Fuel Self-Sabotage
Beyond thought patterns, self-sabotage often stems from deeper psychological roots. Here are four primary contributors:
1. Low or Shaky Self-Concept
Your self-concept shapes how you see yourself and your potential. When it’s unstable or negative, you might:
Doubt your worth
Depend on external validation
Feel incapable of achieving meaningful goals
This internal instability makes it harder to take risks or trust in your own success.
2. Internalized Beliefs from Childhood
We unconsciously adopt many of our limiting beliefs from our early caregivers. These internalized beliefs—like "I’m not good enough" or "I’ll never succeed"—can fuel cycles of self-defeat. These messages are deeply embedded and often operate as background noise unless brought to light.
3. Fear of Change and the Unknown
Change—even when positive—can be threatening to the brain. Our nervous system is wired for predictability and familiarity, not growth. That’s why staying stuck in a toxic relationship or unsatisfying job may feel safer than stepping into the unknown.
4. Excessive Need for Control
When we demand certainty or try to control every outcome, we can become paralyzed. If you wait until the entire path is clear before taking action, you may never move at all. This fear-driven control can derail progress before it even begins.
How EMDR Helps Break the Cycle
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy is a powerful, evidence-based tool that helps desensitize the emotional charge around traumatic memories and limiting beliefs. By reprocessing negative core beliefs and self-sabotage triggers, EMDR helps you:
Identify subconscious patterns
Release trauma stored in the nervous system
Reinforce new, empowering thought patterns
Regain trust in your internal guidance
If you’re feeling stuck in self-defeating behaviors, EMDR can help you move forward.
Ready to Break the Cycle of Self-Sabotage?
You don’t have to keep getting in your own way. With support, healing, and a trauma-informed approach like EMDR, you can rewire your inner dialogue and finally start showing up for the life you deserve.
🧠 Schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation today to see how EMDR therapy can help you overcome self-sabotage and reclaim your confidence.