Sex Therapy: Understanding Sexual Anorexia
Sex Therapy | Sexual Avoidance | Trauma Recovery
Sexual anorexia is a deeply misunderstood condition that involves a compulsive avoidance of sexual intimacy. Popularized by Dr. Patrick Carnes in his book Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred, this condition doesn’t stem from a lack of interest alone—it is rooted in fear, shame, and emotional pain tied to sexuality.
Unlike the more well-known sex addiction characterized by compulsive sexual behavior, sexual anorexia is its inverse: a compulsive drive to avoid sex and emotional intimacy altogether. The impact on relationships and self-image can be profound, especially when the root causes remain unaddressed.
What Is Sexual Anorexia?
Sexual anorexia is not simply disinterest in sex—it is an obsessive avoidance of sexual experiences and often intimacy as a whole. Individuals suffering from sexual anorexia may experience:
Fear of intimacy and physical closeness
Preoccupation with sexual thoughts—despite avoidance
Negative beliefs about sex, the body, or desire
Shame and self-loathing tied to sexuality
Self-sabotage in romantic or intimate relationships
This condition can be highly isolating, creating a cycle where avoidance deepens shame and shame reinforces further avoidance.
Who Is at Risk for Sexual Anorexia?
Sexual anorexia can affect anyone, regardless of gender or orientation. It is particularly common in those with:
A history of sexual trauma, abuse, or neglect
Strict religious or cultural beliefs that instill fear or shame around sexuality
Internalized negative messaging about the body or desire
Co-occurring conditions like anxiety, depression, or substance use
Partners who struggle with the opposite extreme (e.g., sex addiction)
Can Someone with Sexual Anorexia Still Have Sex?
Yes—but often it is disconnected or unfulfilling. People with sexual anorexia may engage in sex out of obligation, or to maintain a relationship, but feel emotionally detached, ashamed, or triggered afterward. In some cases, they may pair with partners who exhibit hypersexual behavior, creating complex dynamics of control, withdrawal, or emotional chaos.
Treatment for Sexual Anorexia
While not listed in the DSM-5, sexual anorexia is increasingly recognized by therapists specializing in trauma, addiction, and sex therapy. Treatment aims to help individuals:
Understand the underlying cause of sexual avoidance
Explore and heal past trauma
Reframe negative beliefs about desire and intimacy
Develop a healthy, empowered relationship with sexuality
Steps Toward Healing
If you or someone you love is struggling with sexual anorexia, here are first steps to take:
Seek a licensed sex therapist with training in trauma and intimacy disorders
Explore organizations like the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) for referrals and support
Start therapy focused on understanding shame, trauma, and self-worth in the context of sexuality
💬 Start Your Healing Journey
You don’t have to carry the shame or confusion of sexual anorexia alone. Sex therapy offers a safe, compassionate space to understand your struggles and reconnect with your body and relationships.
👉 Book a free consultation today and take the first step toward healing, intimacy, and sexual self-acceptance.