Couples: What to Do If Your Partner Has Lost Interest in Sex
Couples Therapy for Rekindling Intimacy and Connection
Understanding Sexual Dry Spells in Relationships
Sexual satisfaction is a core component of most romantic partnerships. While it’s normal for couples to experience fluctuations in desire, a prolonged lack of sexual intimacy can create emotional distance, confusion, and self-doubt. It’s important to understand that many factors—emotional, psychological, and physical—can influence sexual desire over the course of a relationship.
Is It Normal for a Partner to Lose Interest in Sex?
Yes—sexual desire naturally ebbs and flows. There’s no universal standard for how often couples should be intimate. What matters is whether both partners feel satisfied with the current level of intimacy. If one or both of you are unhappy, it’s time to explore the underlying causes together with openness and care.
Why Your Partner May Be Less Interested in Sex
Common Causes of Low Libido
Chronic stress
Depression or anxiety
Hormonal changes (e.g., menopause or low testosterone)
Medical conditions such as diabetes or thyroid issues
Medication side effects (e.g., antidepressants)
Erectile dysfunction or genital pain
Relationship dissatisfaction
Low self-esteem
Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
HSDD is a clinical condition defined by the persistent absence of sexual thoughts or interest, often accompanied by distress. It affects people of all genders and can negatively impact relationship satisfaction and mental health.
Sexual Dysfunction
Sexual dysfunction refers to issues with desire, arousal, orgasm, or pain that interfere with sexual satisfaction. This may manifest as premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness, or difficulty maintaining an erection. These issues are common and often treatable.
What to Do When Your Partner Has Lost Desire
1. Choose the Right Time and Place
Have this conversation outside of the bedroom to avoid feelings of pressure or vulnerability. Choose a neutral, private space where both of you can speak honestly and without distractions.
2. Communicate with Compassion
Use “we” language instead of “you” statements. Express concern without blame. Say things like, “I miss our connection and want to talk about how we can rebuild it together.”
3. Encourage a Medical Evaluation
Suggest a visit to a primary care doctor or specialist to rule out any underlying physical causes or side effects from medications.
4. Don’t Take It Personally
Your partner’s lack of desire may have nothing to do with you. Avoid internalizing the issue and instead focus on approaching the situation as a team.
5. Recommend Couples Counseling
Sex therapy or couples counseling can help rebuild emotional and physical intimacy. A trained therapist can help both of you uncover hidden issues, restore connection, and develop practical solutions.
Can a Relationship Survive Without Physical Intimacy?
Every relationship is unique. Some couples redefine intimacy in ways that don’t prioritize sex, while others see sexual connection as a vital bond. The key is honest communication and a mutual commitment to growth. If you're struggling with intimacy, counseling can help both partners feel seen, heard, and supported.
Ready to reconnect and rebuild intimacy?
Schedule a free consultation to explore how couples therapy can help you restore sexual connection and emotional closeness.