Sex Addiction Therapy for High-Integrity Men

If Willpower Worked, You’d Be Done By Now

You’ve promised yourself you would stop.

You’ve deleted apps.
Installed blockers.
Made emotional apologies.
Tried to think differently.

And yet — here you are again.

This isn’t just hurting your relationship.

It’s eroding your self-respect.

Sexual acting out is often treated as a discipline problem.
In reality, it is usually a conditioned nervous system regulation strategy.

When anxiety, shame, loneliness, or attachment fear spike in your body, your system reaches for the fastest learned pathway to relief.

Over time, that pathway becomes automatic.

This is not about weak character.

It’s about a mechanism you were never taught to understand.

The Core Issue Isn’t Sex. It’s Self-Abandonment.

The behavior is visible.

The mechanism underneath is not.

When discomfort rises, you leave your internal experience.

Porn. Hookups. Fantasy. Orgasm.
They regulate you quickly.

But every time you escape, you reinforce the belief:

“I cannot tolerate what’s inside me.”

That is what destroys integrity.

Self-betrayal isn’t just the acting out.
It’s abandoning yourself the moment discomfort appears.

Why Behavior-Focused Approaches Often Fail

Most sex addiction treatment focuses on:

• Behavioral tracking

• Cognitive restructuring

• Accountability systems

• Avoidance strategies

Those tools can be helpful.

But if you do not address:

• Nervous system dysregulation

• Conditioned arousal pathways

• Protective parts that use acting out to regulate

• Attachment injuries driving anxiety

You are fighting the symptom — not the mechanism.

That is why willpower collapses.

Integrity-Based Recovery

In our work together, we focus on what is actually driving the behavior.

We:

• Identify the parts of you that learned to regulate through acting out

• Map the nervous system patterns underneath the urges

• Build regulation capacity you were never taught

• Increase your tolerance for internal discomfort

• Develop self-leadership instead of reactivity

When you can stay in your body under stress, the behavior becomes unnecessary.

Stopping sexual behavior is not the starting point.
We do not begin with suppression.
We begin with understanding.
Lasting change becomes the byproduct of internal congruence.

Accountability and Relational Integrity

This work does not replace full disclosure, relational repair, or partner stabilization work. If you are in a committed relationship, we will address honesty, transparency, and impact directly. Regulation work supports integrity — it does not bypass responsibility.

The Shift: From Reactive to Steady

You may be on the brink of losing your relationship.
Trust may already be fractured.
You may not recognize the man you’ve become in this pattern.

This work does not erase consequences.
It helps you become steady enough to face them.

When you stop abandoning yourself, you become:

• Steady under pressure

• Honest without collapsing

• Congruent in your actions

• Capable of tolerating conflict

• Able to hold space for the pain you caused

You rebuild self-respect — not through suppression, but through integration.

This Work Is Not for You If:

• Your only motivation is that your spouse demanded it.

• You believe your partner’s lack of sex is the primary cause of your behavior

• You want someone to convince your spouse you’re trying

• You are looking for strategies without self-examination

• You are unwilling to practice regulation outside of sessions

• You are not ready to take responsibility for your internal world

This Work Is for You If:

• You value integrity and are disturbed by your own behavior

• You are willing to examine yourself honestly

• You can acknowledge harm without collapsing into shame

• You are open to understanding how your nervous system drives your actions

• You don’t know how to change yet — but you genuinely want to

External pressure may be what brings you here.

But sustainable change requires something deeper.

This work is most effective when you are personally disturbed by your own behavior — not simply afraid of the consequences.

If your primary goal is to convince your partner you’re trying, this won’t feel useful.

If your goal is to become internally congruent — regardless of the outcome of your relationship — we can do meaningful work.

You Don’t Have to Know How Yet

You only have to be willing.

If you’re ready to stop fighting the symptom and address the mechanism driving it, reach out.

We’ll take this one step at a time — with clarity, accountability, and a path that actually addresses the root of the problem.

I specialize in working with high-integrity men whose sexual behavior has fallen out of alignment with their values.

My approach integrates nervous system science, attachment theory, and structured recovery work — creating change that is sustainable, accountable, and not dependent on willpower alone.

Ways to Work With Me

Individual Therapy

I provide individual counseling for men located in Colorado, Florida, Texas, Virginia, and Vermont.
This work is structured and depth-oriented, focused on regulation, accountability, and long-term integration.

Foundations Group (Forming Now)

Due to limited availability for individual sessions, I offer a structured psychoeducational group designed to teach the core concepts behind this model.

In this group, you will learn:

• How nervous system dysregulation drives sexual behavior
• How conditioned arousal pathways are formed
• How protective parts use acting out to regulate
• How to begin building internal containment

This group is educational and skills-based.
It prepares you for deeper individual work and ensures we are not spending sessions covering foundational material.

Self-Paced Online Course

For men who prefer to begin privately, my online course outlines the nervous system and attachment framework underlying this approach.

Choosing the Right Starting Point

If you are unsure where to begin, consider the level of structure and depth you are ready for:

• Start with a course if you need immediate clarity about how your nervous system, attachment history, and conditioned arousal patterns are driving your behavior.

• Join the Foundations Group Waitlist if you want guided skill-building, structured accountability, and support in developing regulation capacity before deeper individual work.

• Pursue individual therapy if you are ready for sustained behavioral change, attachment repair, and deeper trauma processing.

All prospective individual clients complete a brief readiness questionnaire prior to scheduling to ensure this level of work is appropriate and that sufficient stabilization is in place.