Codependency isn’t a personality flaw—it’s an attachment survival strategy.

It’s because their attachment system learned early on that safety comes from managing other people’s emotions, staying hyper-attuned to the environment, and minimizing their own needs.

Many women come to therapy unsure whether they’re dealing with PMS, PMDD, or PCOS, because all three conditions can cause irritability, emotional shifts, and changes in the menstrual cycle.

But these conditions are not the same, and understanding their differences is the first step to getting the right treatment and support.

If you or your partner are caught in the aftermath of infidelity — unsure how to rebuild trust or stop the cycle of reactivity and defensiveness — you don’t have to navigate it alone.

It’s a maladaptive way to manage stress, shame, or unresolved trauma. Psychotherapy and counseling are essential components of recovery because they address the underlying emotional, relational, and neurobiological roots of the behavior — not just the symptoms.

Betrayal trauma strikes at the deepest level of safety — attachment, trust, and truth. When your nervous system realizes that the person you depended on was also the one who hurt you, it sends a surge of energy through your body designed to protect you.

When a client says, “I know I’m safe now, but my body doesn’t feel safe,” they’re describing trauma reactivity.
This term refers to the automatic, body-based responses that occur when the nervous system perceives danger — even when none exists in the present moment.

Intimacy can only exist where safety does. When both partners feel safe enough to express truth, vulnerability, and repair after rupture, the relationship becomes a healing environment—not just emotionally, but physiologically.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful therapy for healing trauma, but many people don’t realize that the preparation phase—known as resourcing—is just as important as the trauma processing itself.

Attachment theory tells us that the way we bond with caregivers in childhood shapes our patterns of intimacy, trust, and emotional connection. Many assume that if you had a secure attachment as a child, you’re set for life. But the truth is, attachment is fluid—it can shift across the lifespan.

Sexual difficulties rarely stem from “just” biology or “just” psychology. More often, they live in the nervous system—where stress, shame, trauma, and relational patterns become stored in the body. This is where somatic sex practices come in. By combining sex therapy with body-based awareness, clients can reclaim pleasure, authenticity, and safety in their intimate lives.

When couples discuss infidelity, the conversation often centers around physical affairs or emotional connections outside the relationship. But in many marriages and partnerships, pornography use can carry the same weight of betrayal. For some, porn feels like “just looking,” while for others, it strikes at the heart of trust and intimacy.

Love is meant to be nourishing, grounding, and real. Yet for many, what feels like “love” is actually a form of addiction. Love addiction isn’t about too much love—it’s about relying on relationships or fantasies to avoid facing pain, loneliness, or unresolved wounds.

When couples face the devastation of sexual betrayal and addiction, both partners often hope for a clear roadmap to healing. Yet one of the hardest realities to accept is that betrayal trauma and sexual addiction recovery follow different timelines.

Moving too fast can overwhelm a client’s nervous system and cause harm, while moving too slow can leave them stuck in patterns that never resolve.

Couples therapy isn’t just about solving problems—it’s about creating a safe and connected foundation where solutions can take root. When partners prioritize understanding over fixing, they not only resolve conflicts more effectively but also build trust, compassion, and resilience for the future.

Whether you’re navigating triggers in a partnership, healing from betrayal, struggling with emotional dysregulation, or simply tired of the same inner critic, EMDR can help you break free from patterns that were never yours to begin with.

Why is it so hard to heal from codependency, even when you know better?

Because codependency isn’t just a behavior pattern.
It’s a survival strategy.

It was smart when you were younger. It helped you feel safe, needed, valued—even when you weren’t being loved in the ways you deserved. But healing from it as an adult? That takes more than insight.

The truth is: sexual kinks are incredibly common. And like any other part of our sexuality, they often develop for a reason—sometimes through early associations, emotional wiring, nervous system imprinting, or even healing responses to trauma.

I guide couples through this process using a trauma-informed lens, integrating Gottman Method, EMDR, and Internal Family Systems when appropriate. This is tender, courageous work—and you don’t have to do it alone.

When people think about ADHD, they often picture a distracted student, a messy desk, or an adult who constantly loses their keys. But what’s often missed is how ADHD can quietly—and powerfully—intersect with sexual behavior.